Deep Thoughts

Why Would Anyone Want To Have Kids? Here’s Why I Did.

As you may know, I’m currently pregnant with my third child. And oddly, I find myself questioning my motive for this pregnancy much more than I did with either of my first two children. I’ve been stumbling into articles about “why have kids?” or about the anti-natalism or childfree movements – and it seems there’s a lot of belief out there that parenthood, and especially motherhood, not only holds one back from a more ‘significant’ and ‘productive’ potential, but also leaves a person in denial of their regret over the loss of that once-childfree-potential. Instead, parenthood is consumed by the mind-numbing-ness of dirty diapers, tantruming toddlers, never-ending carpools, bratty preteens, and rebellious teenagers…when you know, they could actually be doing something meaningful with their lives otherwise. Many use this as a reason to remain childfree, a choice that they believe will allow them to lead better, happier, more fulfilling lives than if they had chosen to reproduce. Read more…

Life. And Death. And Books.

The closest I’ve ever come to understanding death was the moment I gave birth to my first child.

There were no complications, neither I nor the baby were in distress, and my daughter was born perfectly healthy.

Still, in that moment, consumed in the un-medicated haze of labor pains and heavy acceptance of new life leaving my being to form its own – I experienced a profound connection to the intensity of both life and death all at once. Life and death, two journeys we all must pass, inevitably, once at our beginning and once at our end. Read more…

An Election. Marriage. Communication and the movie ARRIVAL.

To make things simple, let’s for a moment think about our country as a rather simplistic dualism, made up of two groups of people: the right/conservative and the left/liberal. The two sides don’t always have to agree on things, but for better or for worse, we’re united together as citizens of the same country. And we must find a way to work together.

Hmm. For better or for worse. That phrase sure sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Read more…

Why I Blog. Why I Will Keep Blogging.

See, I tend to take on too much. I’ve always been like this. I’m not good at waiting for things to come to fruition, and so, during inevitable slow periods that wax and wane over the journey of each project I bide my time by finding something new and interesting and jump on that bandwagon instead. And then I throw myself into it…until the initial excitement slows down and I find myself at yet another pause in that project’s journey. Then I layer on another something else to distract and divide my time with.

The cycle never ends, and I always burn myself out. Previous promising ideas get left by the wayside because I lack – ok, truthfully it’s because I lacked even from the very beginning – the dedication to the follow through….all the way though. Read more…

I Can’t Go On. I’ll Go On… And Do Whatever I Can With What I Have

It’s been a summer. The first half of the summer was filled with excitement. Hope. Swelling optimism. A presumption of good times just around the corner.  Polishing our script, whittling grand ideas into more accessible coherence. KP going out on promising tv show pitches. Another old project of his also maybe being revived. Read more…

The Sound of Silence. Blog Silence.

Hello Blog, my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again.  Because all my thoughts are creeping, Left quiet only when I’m sleeping. And the words, that keep running through my brain Aren’t retained Within this blog of silence.  These lofty dreams I hope to own, Neither closer do I roam, Nor the decision to revamp. I […] Read more…

What Is Inception About? It’s Probably Not What You Thought.

So you recently watched the movie Inception, maybe for the 2nd or 3rd or 4th time and while you kind of got it you’re still asking yourself:  What is Inception about? 

KP and I re-watched the movie the other night. I’d seen it a couple years years ago and while I understood it at surface level at the time, I was aware that there were deeper elements involved that I was not yet able to comprehend. But I suppose time worked with my subconscious so that when I watched it again and mulled it over in the morning…everything started to click into place…and I feel that I can now answer the question:

What is the movie supposed to mean? Read more…

I Want It All, And I Want It Now. (& Where Am I Going With All This Again?)

And then all these grand thoughts about the meaning of life have to bubble up and demand to be reconciled…precisely at a time when I don’t have the time or mindspace to devote time or mindspace to them.

But I want to think these thoughts. I want to reconcile them into nice organized compartments in my mind. I want everything to make sense and have answers.

I want it all. Read more…

Ashley Madison tv show

The Ashley Madison TV Show & The Good That Could Have Been

I live in a weird part of the world. I juggle convictions and morals in an environment that often seems incompatible with them. I struggle with what to say and how to say it and what I’m allowed to say. Even with its weirdness, however, I still value the confidentiality of this entertainment business and respect the need to keep bits of information I’ve gathered here and there to myself. Often my random knowledge wouldn’t really matter to anyone else, but every once in a while I’ve been privy to things that give me a different perspective of an issue that the rest of the world is not able to see.

You know the whole Ashely Madison thing? Where all the user email addresses of the infidelity website were hacked and released? Of course you do; it was all over the news and the topic of many articles and blog posts and vitriol. Well, what you don’t know is that KP and I have a history with Ashley Madison. Ok, well, KP has the history – but as his wife and as it’s something we’ve discussed in depth, I have a history with it too. Read more…

Making Saul Goodman

What is it called when you write a bunch of twitter posts all in a row, continuing one sentence onto the next tweet, over and over in order to tell a longer story or thought? Whatever it’s called, that’s what I just did. Who knows why I wrote it on twitter instead of a blog post, but for some reason, it just flowed that way better.

Anyway, since I’m all about cross posting on multiple social media platforms – and because I’m sure that no one is reading my twitter feed in the middle on the night and will catch it – here is my recent tweet stream: Read more…