KP and I have been The Fantasy Box customers for years, and more recently began occasionally reviewing their boxes. I was extremely excited when I recently found out their recent line of boxes geared specifically for those couples wanting to spice up their TTC, postpartum and pregnant sex life!
I’ve mentioned this a few times elsewhere, but it took KP and I two years of TTC (trying-to-conceive) before we conceived our first child.
Let’s talk about TTC for a moment. When a couple first decides to purposely try to get pregnant it’s fun! Exciting! Adventurous! Filled with hope for the future! But. If/when the pregnancy tests keep coming up negative month after month? Doubts start to creep in. Hope fades. Anxiety asks ‘what if something’s wrong?’. You become more deliberate in your timing and execution and before you know it, the earlier fun of TTC has transformed into little more than a monthly science experiment. What were once bonding moments of intimacy between your and your spouse are now rote actions performed out of duty.
Of course it’s different for every couple. Many couples get pregnant within the first few months of TTC. Some unexpectedly find themselves expecting, having never had to try at all. And still others are forced to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Yes, TTC can be unbelievably jarring to a couple’s intimate life. But you know what? Once the goal of TTC has been achieved and a pregnancy ensues, the challenges to a couple intimate life don’t necessarily get any better any time soon!
Because then there’s pregnancy. First it’s the nausea and food aversions and overall gross feeling. Then it’s the self-acceptance of a rapidly changing body and the distraction of baby kicks during intimate moments. Then it’s the awkwardness of a unwieldy belly and the aches and pains and the wanting it all to be over. And then it IS over.
Pregnancy turns into postpartum. Your body is a mess. Your mental state is a mess. Your world is now larger, bigger, more meaningful, more significant, with seemingly less opportunity to devote to building intimacy with your spouse. And the first time after giving birth is almost as awkward and emotionally-fraught as the first first time all over again!
Hah – I don’t mean to scare you away! The entire journey to parenthood is one big and amazing adventure, filled with trials and celebrations. Just like marriage itself, bringing new life into the world has got its good times and bad times, but in the end both are very, very much worth it.
Ok let’s get back to marriage intimacy. Aka your sex life together. And these Fantasy Boxes. I don’t meant to turn this post into a salesy kind of post, but truthfully, these boxes fill an extremely important need for married couples in the pregnancy journey stage of life! Even if you decide not to buy a Fantasy Box, I hope you’ll at least be inspired to put more effort into maintaining your sex life during this crazy adventure time of your life.
When I first saw that The Fantasy Box had created this new Pregnancy Journey line and emailed them to thank them, I was given the opportunity to review a box from the line. Though my youngest is 14 months old now and I’m no longer in the TTC/Pregnancy/Postpartum time of life anymore, I admit that I’m still a bit insecure about my birthed-three-kids body. So we decided to choose one of their “Reconnecting” boxes to review: Pedicure Pampering.
As with all my The Fantasy Box reviews, I don’t share everything about our experience, as ahem – I think you get why. But I’ll still give you a little peek into our evening. 😉
What I loved about the Pedicure Pampering box was that it took things slow. Slower and easier and more comfortable than many of their other boxes. And for good reason – this box would be PERFECT for a ‘first time after’ experience for a couple a bit anxious navigating postpartum intimacy.
What was also great about this box is that Mamas, you just get to sit back and relax and do nothing. Nothing at all. The entire experience is all work on the guy’s part. And Guys – if rubbing your wife’s feet is not something you often, or ever, do – she is going to loooove this.
(I admit that I did not get a ton of pictures from the evening. I’d let KP take over the room setup, gave him my camera, and told him to take some pictures. We apparently have a different idea of what “take some pictures for the blog post” means. 🙂 )
But first – the role cards. They might seem like the most insignificant part of the date, but they are actually the most important part! I don’t know what the guy’s card said, nor did I take a picture, as I wanted it to be a surprise. Oh, for anyone else doing this date – read the role cards the day, or at least the morning before, you plan to do the date! KP and I didn’t and KP said he wish he would’ve known so he could have planned better ahead of time.
By the way, here are some tips for managing your newborn’s feeding/sleeping AND a sexy date with your spouse at the same time:
1) Plan for date night to take place right after you put baby down for their longest nighttime sleep. If you can put baby in the other room for a portion of the night, do. If your baby sleeps in your room, at least try to move the bassinet/coleeper away from the bed and to a darker and quieter corner of the room.
2) If you usually do a ‘cluster feed’ in the evening before putting baby to bed: Nurse baby, then enjoy the shower or bath that your spouse set up for you. Take a looong time and relax. Then, once out and dressed, have your hubby bring the baby to you to nurse while he finishes getting ready. Then put the baby back to bed and continue the date.
3) Though it can be so hard to turn focus off from your new baby, for at least the next hour or so, try to focus more on your spouse than your baby. If baby startles, try to ignore them and see if they’ll go back to sleep. If you need to pop in a pacifier or re-swaddle, do it quietly and quickly, but try not to let baby take away your attention. This is so important! Your baby is important, yes, but so is your marriage sex life!
4) If you’re ordering this box before birth for later, and if you plan to nurse, remember that your nursing boobs will be much larger than normal! Be sure to request your lingerie to be at least 1-2+ cup sizes bigger than you wear during pregnancy.
Since we did this box with our youngest as a toddler who sleeps through the night, this part was easier on us, but it’s still totally doable to have date nights in bed even with a newborn!
On to our date!
KP got a shower running for me, made me a drink and I relaxed in the shower. He’d left an outfit for me to change into, as well as a robe (the robe only comes in the Platinum level box). Then he led me into the bedroom where he had set up a few things including snacks and some sparkling wine.
And then I just got to sit back and relax! Everything else was on him! It was awesome! I don’t want to go into allll the details here, but suffice it to say that I didn’t ONLY get a really great pedicure. Ahem, ahem.
All in all, this Pedicure Pampering box did not disappoint, even though it was a bit tamer than some of the other boxes we’ve also done from them. I thought it was a perfect re-connecting experience and would be great for a couple to use postpartum.
The Fantasy Box’s Pregnancy Journey line is divided into three stages:
Three TTC (trying to conceive) boxes: Fun at Work, Hotel at Home, Taste Testing
Three Pregnancy boxes: Pajama Party (1st trimester), Lingerie Fashion Show (2nd tri), New Positions (3rd tri)
Five Reconnecting boxes: Sensual Shower, Iron Chef, Quickie Kit, Pedicure Pampering, Queen For a Day
Though perhaps a bit unconventional – and probably only for someone you knew really well – I think these boxes would make a wonderful gift for a newly expecting couple, or even a totally unique baby shower gift.
All The Fantasy Box details:
– $39 – $159/mo. depending on the tier you want (Essentials, Classic or Platinum)
– First box of a subscription is the Introduction Box, which gives you a guide for discussing your intimate preferences and desires, as well as introduces you to the different box theme you might find in later boxes.
– The Fantasy Boxes are centered around 4 overall themes: Sensual, Playful, Costume, and Control. If you know that you don’t want a specific theme (or if you want more of one of them), you can email them and they will pull/add those boxes from your queue. This is also a good idea if pregnant/postpartum and are temporarily feeling less comfortable with certain things.
– You can set up your subscription for every month or every-other-month.
– Other than their subscription boxes, they also offer one-time Special Edition boxes. The Pregnancy Journey boxes listed above are under their Special Edition boxes category. However:
– Other than monthly subscription and Special Edition boxes, they also offer Bundles, which is where you can bundle together a few boxes for a certain price.
– NEW: You can now decide which box you want to come next in your monthly subscription! This is kind of an exciting thing because whereas before you’d just be surprised by each month’s box, now you can pick and choose (or you can still keep it a surprise if you want too). So if you wanted to do a regular subscription, but then add in any of these Pregnancy Journey boxes here and there, you could.
– Also NEW: If you already have a lot of um, bedroom supplies on hand, and don’t really need to order a complete box, you can now order JUST the role cards! Personally, I’m super excited about this option! Yes, it’s more affordable, but it also gives us a chance to continue to re-use many of the items received from previous boxes.
— And…..I have a promo code for you!! Use the code SCREENW10 for 10% off ANY purchase, not just a subscription! – you can also get 10% off by signing up for their email newsletter, but that discount only applies to a subscription; mine applies to any product as well. If you don’t mind, please use my code SCREENW10 so they’ll know that I sent you. 🙂
Thanks The Fantasy Box for letting us try out one of your boxes!