This has been one of the coolest little projects I’ve ever taken on. For awhile now, I’d considered writing a blog post about Why Get Married? Why Stay Married? (if you don’t understand why these questions are different – you’re probably either not married, or haven’t been for long.) similar in vein to my Why Have Kids? post. But knowing that I have the propensity to dive into topics a bit too deeply than most people care about, lol, I had another idea: What if I compiled a list of why other couples chose to get married and why they continue to stay married?
And that’s what I did!
I first reached out to some of the marriage bloggers I knew and liked. Surprisingly, several of them responded. So I started reaching out farther to more bloggers in different niches. I asked around in some of my blogging facebook groups – would anyone like to contribute? Bloggers I followed on Instagram but had never spoken to – I left them a message on their website.
And the responses just kept coming in!
I’m sooo grateful to all the wonderful bloggers that chimed in (seriously. Many of them have MUCH larger audiences than I do and they didn’t have to take the time to answer my questions) and the wide assortment of reasons to get and stay married that they’ve offered. If you’re looking for new bloggers to follow, I strongly encourage you to click on their blog names and check them out!
I love that you’ll find such a wide assortment of answers, ranging from spiritual to secular reasons for marriage. Pull up a chair because it might take some time to read through this amazing roundup!
Beth, married 31 years, blogs at Messy Marriage
Why did you GET married?
I probably didn’t get married with completely realistic or healthy motivations. But I do remember thinking that my husband and I could serve the Lord better together than apart. That reason has withstood the test of time and continues to be one of the biggest motivators for being married and staying married.
Why do you STAY married?
My answer would be similar to what I said above, except for this: Over the years my husband and I have bonded in so many important ways. He’s my best friend, my lover and my spiritual partner. I can’t imagine doing life without him, because he makes everyday an adventure in love and companionship.
Shelia Wray Gregoire, married 25 years, blogs at To Love, Honor, & Vacuum
Why did you GET married?
The immature answer? I truly loved him, and I also just didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be married! I’m just so grateful I fell in love with a good guy, because I think my desperation to get married could have turned out very differently.
Why do you STAY married?
We’re a unit now. I don’t think we could extricate ourselves! We know everything about each other, and that’s so, well, nice. And nice is not a bad word! In this hectic world, it’s like he’s my rock and someone who is always there that I can depend on. Plus we have a ton of fun together and genuinely enjoy each other. But so much of the rest of my life is stressful, and I love having this one area, the most important area, absolutely stable.
Mike & Carlie Kercheval, married 18 years, blogs at Fulfilling Your Vows
Why did you GET married?
We got married because we fell madly in love during our sophomore year at Washington State University. We realized quickly that our core values align and our personalities are complimentary; and it doesn’t hurt that we are crazy attracted to one another!
Why do you STAY married?
Because we are still madly in love with one another. We’ve been able to build a beautiful life together full of love, 3 beautiful children, life lessons, and lots of adventure. Our amazing marriage has allowed us to create a sustainable company together to provide for our family and help marriages all over the world. While our marriage may not be perfect, it’s perfect for us. We’re made for each other!
Brandi Michel, married 18 years, blogs at Family Felicity
Why did you GET married?
I actually married my high school sweetheart and best friend. We’ve been together for over 20 years! We got married because we wanted to build a life together and felt called to one another… and still do!
Why do you STAY married?
My husband and I have been married for 18 years and we’re still best friends but the truth is marriage is hard. It’s wonderful too. As we declared in our vows, through the good and the bad we are committed to serving each other. And through many of the very tough challenges we’ve faced over the years, it’s still possible for us to choose each other day after day because we keep Christ at the center of our marriage. When we can’t seem to get it right, we run back to Him!
Kelly Mantoan, married 16 years, blogs at This Ain’t The Lyceum
Why did you GET married?
I got married because it seemed the logical end to finding the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Living together, having children out of wedlock, etc. never crossed our minds. My husband’s parents, and mine, are still married. While my husband toyed with a vocation to the priesthood for a bit, as a convert, a religious vocation was never on my radar. I’d always assumed from a young age that I would get married, and stay married.
Why do you STAY married?
We are still married, sixteen and a half years later, because we made vows to do just that; ’til death do us part and all that. For us, divorce is not an option. I am fortunate to be with a man who takes that commitment seriously, and I try to be the best wife I can on a daily basis, and he in turn, has never let me down as a spouse. It is a relief to know that no matter how trying our marriage may become, neither of us will abandon it. And as such, our marriage has not always been easy, but because we’ve worked through the tough times together, our relationship is rock solid.
Kristiina Craven, married 16 years, blogs at Getting Unschooled
Why did you GET married?
When I was in my mid-20’s, my family started calling me a spinster. MID-TWENTIES?! That seems so young, now, but it definitely affected me. Funny story: my friends and I did an exercise around that time that we learned from Oprah about attracting a mate. We were supposed to envision everything about the person we thought we’d like to be with. So that’s what we did. Mine was so detailed that I even noted how I loved the way he looked in a baseball cap and how I preferred a man with a receding hairline (WTH?). I met my husband that year. He looks amazing in a baseball cap and he’s nearly bald LOL. He also makes me laugh every day. We were engaged at 7 months and married 13 months after meeting. Talk about an intuitive decision—it just felt right.
Why do you STAY married?
Marriage is a journey that has changed me in ways I never could have imagined. There have been many growing pains and I’ve discovered that we, alone, are responsible for our happiness, not our partner, friends, or children. Once I figured that out, I stopped trying to control my husband (haven’t we all been there?). And marriage feels like more of a choice we make every day, versus a life sentence LOL
I create my happiness and find that this higher vibe mindset puts me in a place of wanting to support his happiness even more. We have our own interests and enjoy spending time apart, but we still love to connect for date nights or just hanging on the couch. Looking towards the future and having shared goals keeps us connected and doing “Life” with someone who you care for and respect who wants the same things makes the future look that much brighter!
Jennifer Fulwiler, married 15 years, blogs at Jennifer Fulwiler
Why did you GET married?
Because I couldn’t imagine life without Joe.
Why do you STAY married?
Because I see my whole life in the context of our family team.
Liane, married 15 years, blogs at Tales Of A Crunchy Mom
Why did you GET married?
I got married very young (only 18) and I think if you had asked me then why I made that decision, my response would have probably been along the lines of, “He’s a really sweet and funny guy who I feel completely at ease and safe with. He’s my best friend who I can tell anything to. I’m looking forward to his companionship and starting a family together.” Due to past abuse in my young life, actually feeling safe with, taken care of and protected by a man was unusual to experience but extremely important to me at the time.
Why do you STAY married?
In a nutshell? 1) we’re two stubborn people who refuse to give up on one another 2) we regularly find new ways to connect and keep things fresh 3) we have a long standing friendship and history that’s too meaningful to just throw away when the going gets tough, and 4) we truly LOVE and are in love with each other!
My husband and I have known one another since we were 14 and so grew up together. There was and always will be a deeply interwoven shared history in the fabric of our lives. Losing him would be to lose a piece of every experience we shared, half a lifetime of memories.
After 15 years of marriage (and 20 years of friendship), we know each other inside and out, genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and anticipate each other’s needs well.
I asked him recently, jokingly, “You’re not tired of me yet?” “Never,” he said. We still go on regular dates, hold hands, tease one another playfully, sit out on the back patio and just talk. He still makes me laugh like no one else and we’re still the best of friends.
Alex Fletcher, married 13 years, blogs at Dad’s Debt Dilemma
Why did you GET married?
My wife and I got married after a long distance relationship across country for about 18 months … we were in our 30’s and old enough to be over playing any games and realized that we shared the same values when it came to relationships, parenting, politics and religion. We knew we were meant to be together in marriage.
Why do you STAY married?
We’ve been married for almost 13 years now, and with two children. We stay married because we still have the same passion for each other and for life like we did back in 2005, and will continue that for another 13 years and beyond. We have many more adventures planned and desire to share each one of them together.
Meg Gemelli, married 11 years, blogs at The Making Of A Marriage
Why did you GET married?
Why did I get married? The answer’s so simple it’s concerning. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. We’d been together for two years and I’d found a kind, hardworking man in Pete. He was so different from the guys I’d dated before. Stable. Mature. And not all wrapped-up in himself. Looking back, I should have waited until I was more emotionally and spiritually ready. Thankfully, the rest is history and life is as it should be! We’ve been married eleven years now. We have two beautiful boys, and we’ve worked hard learning to love one another well. It’s crazy to imagine what life would be like without him.
Why do you STAY married?
The kids are loud, and the work, never-ending. But sometimes, in those pre-planned, intentional moments away from it all, I catch a glimpse of the young guy with coffee-dark, wide eyes…the one who was terrified to ask me out on that first date. If any of us who have been married for a while get honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that two questions seem to linger. “Do you truly see me?” And, “Do you still like what you see?” For me, the answer is always, “Yes.” We choose each other over and over again, day after day. By the grace of God, I believe that’s the reason we’re still married.
Bonnie Way, married 11 years, blogs at The Koala Mom
Why did you GET married?
I always felt called to marriage and motherhood. In university, I met a man who shared many of my goals and dreams, and we got married when I graduated. 🙂
Why do you STAY married?
Marriage has been tough. We’ve had 5 kids, moved 7 times, been through job losses, returned to school, etc. What has kept us together has been our commitment to each other and the Catholic Church’s teachings about marriage. We also know we have community rooting for and praying for us, so when it gets tough, we keep fighting for each other.
Celeste Davis, married 10 years, blogs at Marriage Laboratory
Why did you GET married?
I always expected to get married- it was a model I grew up with and looked forward to. It was just that pesky matter of finding someone who wanted to marry me and didn’t suck as a person generally speaking. When I met Rich, I found his deep goodness, sense of humor and intelligence so attractive that I knew early on that his suckage levels were sufficiently low as to fill my days daydreaming of one day picking out curtains together. Once he was on board (it took a little while), it was all systems go and we’ve never looked back.
Why do you STAY married?
The reasons I’ve stayed married have shifted through the years. As I mature as a human and come closer to the ability to love unconditionally, my reasons for staying married have shifted from having someone to love and accept me to me having someone to love and accept. When I act in love, I feel love. When I feel love, I am at my best. It is a great blessing to have someone to love (I actually just wrote a post all about why I stay married and explain this concept more here.)
Rebecca, married 9 years, blogs at Proud Police Wife
Why did you GET married?
I got married because I believe in marriage and I found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Why do you STAY married?
I stay married because I’m still in love just as when I got married. We work hard at our marriage and constantly make it a priority. We also have three children and want to show them what real love is and how to work hard in a marriage.
Tori-Ann Mayembe, married 7 years, blogs at Real Happy Mom
Why did you GET married?
I was so in love with my husband (and I still am) and I knew that we complemented each other very well. We balance each other out and challenge each other to be better. I knew that I wanted to stay with my husband for the rest of my life and had to make it official.
Why do you STAY married?
Commitment. I knew marriage wouldn’t be easy all of the time. There have been times that I wanted to quit and give up. But I was committed to my husband and to the vows we made to each other.
Jodi Perez, married 7 years, blogs at Wealthy N Wise
Why did you GET married?
Growing up, I remember marriage looking a lot like a fairy tale. The idea of something being “forever” comforted me. As I got older, that perception changed slightly. The idea of marriage became less magical and more practical. I realized that the security of “forever” was pretty elusive. Still, the idea intrigued me and lured me in.
Why do you STAY married?
Although I’ve long since realized that nothing in life is guaranteed, there is a steadiness about marriage (a good one, anyway) that helps me deal with life’s unexpected curve balls. I’ve come to realize that it’s nearly impossible to “truly” love your spouse on your wedding day. True love is much complicated and selfless. Finding that love is the like finding the finish line for a lifelong journey you’re on together.
Camille, married 7 years, blogs at Friday We’re In Love
Why did you GET married?
We got married because we believe wholeheartedly that love grows with time and that families are eternal! We’re strong believers you can be together with your family during your lifetime, but also in Heaven. We wanted a family unit we could love and grow together forever. Commitment, selflessness, and a belief that it only gets better with time made marriage very exciting to us, and continues to direct our views of marriage and how we treat each other and our children.
Why do you STAY married?
Marriage has brought more happiness than we ever imagined! We love that our emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual intimacy grows with time. My husband is truly my best friend and he would definitely say I’m his as well. We’ve worked hard to build a strong foundation and to make sure we keep our marriage our top priority. Our project to go on weekly dates has yielded a lot of love and a lot of happiness through fun together. I can’t see myself without this guy who is the highlight of my life! I’m happy to say after 7.5 years of marriage later, we’re both happier and more in love than the day we said yes!
Phillip & Tiffany, married 6 years, blogs at The Crazy Shopping Cart
Why did you GET married?
Phillip: To have sex with my wife.
Tiffany: Oh dear! Please ignore my husband. He’s had a busy month at work with a project, so the kids and I have been out of the state visiting my parents all month! But his answer actually has a strong basis for the real answer. We are very strong in our Christian faith (Mormon), and part of those beliefs is that physical intimacy should wait until marriage. But sharing those same beliefs is the root of our relationship. We believe that marriage is a covenant (two-way promise) between a man, a woman, and God as all three equal partners. We got married because we loved each other enough that we wanted to make those covenants with each other and with God, and also we trusted each other enough to believe that they would keep those covenants as well.
Why do you STAY married?
Phillip: To keep having sex with my wife.
Tiffany: Again, please ignore the peanut gallery! 😉 We stay married because we believe in those covenants. No matter what comes our way, including my 35+ hospitalizations in 6 1/2 years of marriage, we go back to those covenants. In this triangle, as we move closer to God, we move closer to each other. So when things get difficult, when they don’t go our way, when we feel frustrated with one another, we go back to our mutual faith in and love for God.
Charlene, married 6 years, blogs at Enduring All Things
Why did you GET married?
My husband and I got married because we couldn’t imagine our futures without each other. We started dating at 16 and didn’t get married till after we graduated college at 22. I’ll admit I was ready for marriage before him, but he eventually came around. We had practically grown up together and we just knew it was meant to be, you know? We worked and we loved each other and were ready to make the commitment to spending the rest of our lives together.
Why do you STAY married?
We stay married because we made a promise to each other and to God to do so. That’s the simple answer but it’s true. We made a commitment the day we said “I do” and we honor that commitment. God frowns upon divorce. It breaks up families. It’s heartbreaking. We believe all it takes to divorce-proof your marriage is putting in a little effort. Life is tough and busy but if you make your marriage a priority, it’s easy to stick together through it all!
Brooks, married 6 years, blogs at Our Parent Place
Why did you GET married?
Honestly, I always told myself I would never get married. But when I met my husband, I realized quickly that I really wanted to be his wife. So cheesey, but he truly swept me off my feet.
Why do you STAY married?
This is harder to answer. Marriage is no walk in the park. I think the biggest reason (other than love) is because when I said “I do”, I took it seriously. I knew it was a big deal, and I made a commitment to, not only my husband, but to myself. I don’t think a marriage based *only* on love will get you through it. There has to be trust, respect, commitment, and willingness to do hard work.
McKinzie Bean, married 6 years, blogs at Today Mommy
Why did you GET married?
For love. I couldn’t picture my life without him and I knew I would regret it forever if I didn’t.
Why do you STAY married?
My husband is my sweetheart and my best friend. We lean on each other and support each other. I couldn’t imagine life without him.
Audrey Marshall, married 6 years, blogs at Mommy Enlightened
Why did you GET married?
I married my husband because he is kind, handsome, charming, and patient. I don’t believe in soul mates, but I felt that we would grow and change in similar ways.
Why do you STAY married?
There are so many reasons why we stay married, but for me I think it’s the fact that he is incredibly supportive of me in anything I want to do. He is a great father to my children, and he makes me laugh. We aren’t perfect by any means… Our relationship doesn’t have that fire that exists in new relationships, however, we are always working to fix what may be a little broken.
Yesenia Faiella, married 6 years, blogs at Mama Of Both Worlds
Why did you GET married?
I don’t think it ever occurred to me that I would NOT get married. And that’s probably because I had an amazing example of what marriage is through my parents. Their marriage could endure anything that came their way. Their love is a grand testament. Even if I didn’t know it then, I wanted to have what they have. When I found it with my now husband, I knew I struck gold. And who doesn’t hold on to gold!?
Why do you STAY married?
I married my best friend. Life just wouldn’t be as fulfilling without him by my side. We are more than just husband and wife. We have become intertwined so deeply with one another that even the day to day wouldn’t make sense without him. Our marriage is the foundation that our family is built on.
Chelsea Damon, married 5 years, blogs at Living The Sweet Wife
Why did you GET married?
To be honest, I got married because I was afraid of being alone and at the time, I believed that my highest calling in life would be to be a wife and mother. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my boyfriend/fiance, but I sure did whatever I could to speed up the process so we could hurry up and get married already! Also, being a wife and mother is a huge calling- one that I would never trade for anything! But a few years after we were married I realized that God wanted me to do more than just raise children.
Why do you STAY married?
Josh and I really do love each other. We’re best friends! It would be really hard to imagine my life without him, we really get each other. That being said, we have had our share of hard times. I can confidently say that our marriage would be a wreck if not dissolved completely if it weren’t for God’s grace in our lives. Both of us understand that God created marriage to be a picture of His relationship with His Church. That being the case, we can use our marriage and the grace that we constantly have to show each other to be an example of God’s grace towards us. We stay married because we’re able to see a much larger picture for our marriage than just being in love with each other!
Katie Campion, married 5 years, blogs at My Sweet Home Life
Why did you GET married?
I have actually been married before – but THIS time I can tell you why I decided to get married – because my husband is my best friend, my soul mate and the first man I have ever been with that I knew I would be with truly till “death do us part.”I know this sounds a little crazy but just before we met I was going through a pretty rough time. I had left an emotionally abusive marriage which took a couple of years to recover from. One day, it was like a voice said in my head that the right one was coming so I needed to “let him in.” It was so strong, I wrote it down the words with the date. A month later, I met my now husband.
Why do you STAY married?
I stay married because I cannot imagine not being with my husband. I have never ever not wanted to be with him and would be lost without him. Although we have quite different personalities, we complement each other very well. I can tell him anything, and vice versa. We can be stupid at times, and passionate at times, but always we are each other’s best friend and the person we like to be with the most in the world. We bring out the best of each other – he loves exercise and so I started running and last year ran a half marathon – and I am great at planning and organization and structure, which helped him complete his university (college) degree and teacher training. We are better together than we are apart
Liam, married 5 years, blogs at The Ultimate Backpack
Why did you GET married?
I got married because I loved my partner and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She is an amazing woman and we wanted to grow our relationship and start a family.
Why do you STAY married?
I stay married because, I love my wife, she is my best friend and a wonderful mother to our daughter. We’ve have been together for a long time and it’s hard to imagine life apart.
Rebecca Lemke , married 4 years, blogs at Rebecca Lemke
Why did you GET married?
My husband and I got married because we were both practically minded and recognized that our values, convictions, and lifestyles were perfectly compatible and that were attracted to one another. We had strong convictions about sexual purity, so we were very deliberate about steering our relationship towards marriage once we knew we were an excellent match.
Why do you STAY married?
We stay married because we believe that marriage is a covenant made before God and man. Even when things may not be going the way we want, it isn’t about us, it is about the promise we have made to each other and to God.
Lauren Dibble, married 4 years, blogs at Hillsborough Homesteading
Why did you GET married?
I got married because my husband and I dated in middle school and high school. We lost touch when his family moved, but then had a serendipitous meeting 6 years later…and lost each other again! I went off to college, he joined the marine corps. I got married, he got married. We found each other going through divorces at the same time, found each other again on social media, and really began to lean on each other through the difficulties of divorce. Before we knew it, we were 14 again, and best friends. Getting married, committing to each other and the world that we would be together through thick or thin was a no-brainer. I waited 15 years for him, I wasn’t about to lose him again!
Why do you STAY married?
I stay married because I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Hubby is my best friend, life-partner, soul-mate…whatever you want to call it. Marriage takes work, but I wouldn’t want to “work” on it with anyone else.
Rosemarie, married 3 years, blogs at Faith It Like A Boss
Why did you GET married?
I wanted a spiritual partner to help me to become a better person (one who loves and serves better) in life. I waited until I was 46 to find him, but my husband fit the bill!
Why do you STAY married?
a) I love him and enjoy him, b) I made a promise to God and to him to love unconditionally so for me there is no other option. I’m married for life as I keep my promise to God.
Kelly, married 3 years, blogs at Corner of Happy
Why did you GET married?
We were high school sweethearts and got married after dating for 9 years. More than high school sweethearts, we were (and still are) best friends. We knew we were extremely lucky to find a love like ours so we’d be ridiculous not to spend the rest of our lives together!
Why do you STAY married?
We stay married because we know that it’s worth it. Through the good and the bad, we know that we will always have each other. Open communication and continuing to appreciate one another are the keys to our marriage. It’s easy to stay married to your best friend!
Carissa, married 2 years, blogs at The MRSing Link
Why did you GET married?
Marriage, for me, is the deepest expression of love and commitment. And I always dreamed of spending and committing to a lifetime with that one person.
Why do you STAY married?
I stay married because I choose to stay married. To Love is a choice – not a feeling. It’s such a powerful thing! And I’m a firm believer in that the person I marry means I choose him, and I choose to Love him every single day.
Aimee Tapp, married 2 years, blogs at The Thirties Mom
Why did you GET married?
I was crazy about my husband. We were older and ready to move forward with life.
Why do you STAY married?
Some days I wonder. ?? We are committed to the bigger picture. We have a beautiful daughter and feel like God has given us this family to love and raise and grow together. We keep focused on the goals.
Savannah Esposito, married 1 year, blogs at Millennial Mrs. And Mom
Why did you GET married?
I had known Jak just shy of two years when he proposed. I was pregnant at the time. I knew he was planning on proposing (he told me that he wanted to propose in October, but did it in June so we would be married by the time our son arrived). During the two years I’d known Jak I fell in love with him, I saw all sides of him, both the best and the worst. Regardless of whether our romance was alive or struggling we never failed as friends. I married Jak not only because I love and accept him for who he is but also because he is my best friend, and always has been my friend through whatever struggles we’ve been through.
Why do you STAY married?
We stay married because we know that marriage has its ups and downs. Marriage and any relationship take daily effort and work. As I always say, relationships are a job that you don’t get a day off from– and I mean that in a good way! I personally believe in taking my vows seriously — for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I believe for myself that once you’re married you’re married for life unless there is abuse or chronic cheating happening. Jak and I have been through a lot. Most of the things we’ve been through would have torn other couples apart, but we stay married because of our love, friendship, and promises we made to each other.
I hope you enjoyed this list! If you’re a blogger and you’d like to be included, leave a comment below with your info or email me at ronni@thinktoomuchmom.com!
3 Comments on I Asked 32 Bloggers: “Why Get Married? Why STAY Married?” – Here’s What They Said
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I love this post! So many different ways to answer the same questions.
I love the real responses that marriage is hard but fun. Because it really is! Thanks for letting me be apart of this awesome post!
I agree Toni-Ann, marriage is hard but if you find the right partner, the fun far outweighs the negatives. All marriages are full of peaks and troughs, but as long as there are a lot more peaks, then you’re on the right path.
Hi,
First of great post. I totally agree with Shelia Wray Gregoire. I love my husband too much and didn’t want to live separate lives. Instead, chose to live together with the blessing of our elders and God. Today, we have a lovely 6 year old daughter. I didn’t want to die alone!!!