Am I really writing a Seven Quick Takes? Um, for real. I am. It’s only been what, 10.5 months since my last one? Whatever. I need a jumpstart to break this writer’s block. So here we go! (See here for this week’s Seven Quick Takes link-up over at the blog This Ain’t The Lyceum)
I’m sure you’ve all seen the “Love Your Spouse Challenge” thing going around facebook. If not, it’s a thing where people post a picture of their spouse and them together everyday for a week and then tag other people. While I don’t normally like to participate in these types of facebook-chain stuff, considering that I’m especially all about marriage encouragement, I decided to participate.
Instead of posting random pictures of us each day, I decided to post a series of pictures that told a story. The story of a relationship, of marriage, of OUR journey together. Today is my last day of the challenge. If you’re personal facebook friends with me, you’ve probably seen these already. But for everyone else, I wanted to document these here in a blog post.
Day 1: Spring 2002
KP and I first met in the spring of 2002. We’d each come from our respective colleges (him Michigan, me Texas) to do an internship program for the semester. KP was part of a program with lots of other college students from all over the U.S.; I’d secured my own internships and was out here independently.
However, a couple other girls from my college were doing the same film internship program he was that semester. And I was lonely and bored, so I’d called them up and hung out them…and the other students in the program that semester.
Our first memories of each other are vague. We don’t know our actual meeting. I don’t even remember this picture being taken; it was discovered years later in a pile of old pics KP had. There’s actually another person in this pic to the left of KP; I must have leaned into the shot at the last minute.
We were NOT dating at the time of this picture. Or even friends. I’m kind of shocked this picture exists.
Day 2: November 2004
So. At the beginning of 2004, we’d started becoming good friends. Then a few months passed. And we kind of started becoming more than “just friends”. But *I* didn’t want to be more. And we did the weird sort of thing where we didn’t know what we were. Then *I* told him I just wanted to be friends only. Then we didn’t talk to each other at all. Then I realized I missed him. Then we started talking again. Then we decided to officially date.
But not before we’d planned a Thanksgiving road trip with a third friend. Whom we didn’t want to feel awkward and a third wheel, so we decided to hide the fact that we were now “officially dating”.
Do we look like we’re together in this picture? We’re not. But we are. 2004 was a funny year.
Day 3: October 1, 2005
Yes. We were that couple. On Oct. 1, 2004, we weren’t talking to each other. On Oct. 1. 2005, we got married. We “officially” dated for only 4 months before getting engaged, and then only a 6 month engagement. Engaged for less than we were dating. And not even a year combined before we got married.
We were like the ONLY people of our friend group in L.A. who were married at our age. Whatever. We’re weird.
But I’m glad I married when I did. I’m glad so much of my life has been with KP.
Still. OMG, I look at this picture and see the youth and naivete in our faces. The bliss of young love. I both miss it and am thankful to have grown into the much more mature love that we now have instead.
Day 4: October 2008
KP and I were married for 6 years before we added kids to the mix. Now, on this parenthood side of marriage, I sometimes fondly look back on the freedom we had before kids. The devotion we could have to each other when it was just us. It’s easy to now look on those times as the good ole days…but the truth is, I know that those days were not always as easy as I remember them to be.
We grew into ourselves during those years. Careers were established. Passions were developed.
Here we are on our so far only trip abroad together, at Stonehenge. Those were good times. I’m thankful for those times when it was just us, but I’m also thankful for who those times allowed us to grown into as a couple.
Day 5: September 2011
It hadn’t been an easy time of it, and it’d taken us a couple years (complete with diagnoses, and second opinions, and uncertainty of what the future would hold, and probably more stress than we’d needed to place on the process), but we eventually crossed over in to becoming parents when our daughter was born.
This was a great time in our marriage. Futures seemed bright. We were very happy.
Day 6: March 2014
I suppose it’s natural and normal to go through rough patches in marriage, and I’ll admit that 2013-2014 was a rough time for us. Add a somewhat unexpected second pregnancy during a time of financial and martial stress, aaaand…many days felt like we were just hanging on for survival.
I look at this picture and I remember how tough things were. How we were trying so hard. Trying to feel normal. Trying to keep having hope. Trying to tell ourselves that it was all going to work out for the good. That this was just a stage.
I see this picture and I want so badly to be able to reach back into the past and tell my former self: Keep going. It will get better. It really will. You won’t have to fake it for too much longer. This truly is just a stage of life. A stage that will pass. Have hope.
In looking back, it feels a rather appropriate picture, on that rare rainy day in L.A. as we were weathering the storm of life together.
Day 7: September 2015
I’ve shared this picture of us before. It’s us having a drink after our first studio pitch for the project we’re working on together. Which is something I previously thought we’d never ever ever be able to do together. As that pitch later turned into an actual script, and through each round of producer notes and revisions, and each period of wait-and-see, and all the emotions that this story has brought up and the almost-confrontations between us where we’d differ – we’ve somehow continued. We’re still working on it together. We’re still communicating. We’re still hoping for what it could bring.
This particular project has been a guiding force for us over the past year and we cheers to the future hoping and trusting in where it may or may not lead!
Thanks so much for following along with our marriage journey so far! If you’re interested in reading more of my marriage posts, you might like the below:
- When Marriage Is Hard. Really, Really, Hard
- The Complete List of Date Night Subscription Boxes
- 10 Reasons Why a 10th Anniversary Getaway is Better Than a Honeymoon Getaway
- Why Millennials CAN Handle Marriage
- The Person You Marry Will Change