KP and I are writing again. We pulled out our script from last year, and are sprucing up a scene or two to make it sparkle more. That’s actually what I’m supposed to be working on at this coffee shop right now. Man, writing with a spouse is hard. Writing with 3 young kids is hard too.
There are more thoughts in my head than I have time to think about. To write out. To acknowledge. To make matter.
I’m stuck in my own world, in my own head, pondering. Feeling. Watching. Hoping.
Caught in this moment. This brief moment. Of all time. Of all existence.
My baby’s growing. I’m getting older. Years will pass. What is modern becomes what is outdated.
Everyone who came before me: I will soon be like you.
Everyone who comes after me: You will soon be like me.
Sure, they mention the sleep deprivation. They mention the symptoms of postpartum depression that you’re supposed to contact your care provider if you start experiencing. They may even mention where to get breastfeeding support if you need it.
But it’s more than that. So much more than that.
Today is Baby #3’s due date. Thankfully, he’s here already and arrived 6 days ago. I’ve been trying to piece together his birth story because I really, really want to blog about it. Writing out my birth stories after each birth has been really therapeutic for me. Not that I’ve had traumatic births. I haven;t. But just because labor/birth in and out of itself is such a transformative process. Like for real. This new person come out of you. It’s crazy.
I’ve written about birth before.
Anyway. I really am trying to get the birth story together. But until then, this Rambling Ronni post will have to suffice.
It took KP and I two years before I got pregnant with my first child. There was a lot of emotion and frustration and impatience and stress during that time time of trying so that when I did end up pregnant, I tried to be ultra-sensitive to anyone else who might still be trying to conceive. I hardly ever talked about the daily realities of being pregnant. I tried to never complain. I felt almost like i wasn’t “allowed” to. After all, I should be so happy to be pregnant – and I was – that I felt guilty ever being negative about anything.
The sun is shining right now. It got into the 80s yesterday. It’s in the 80s again today. I’m wearing a sundress.
This is how Southern California is supposed to be. Not rainy and gloomy and windy and cold like it has been the past couple months.
A week or two ago, using (the greatest browser extension ever, imho) F.B. Purity, I decided to hide my facebook newsfeed in its entirety. This may have been a bit of an extreme reaction, but I figured it was more prudent than deleting facebook altogether…and I couldn’t seem to muster up the willpower to just stay off facebook of my own accord.
It’s been great for my sanity. I mean, I still use facebook daily. I’ve posted to The Screenwriter’s Wife facebook page a few times. I’ve gone directly to some of the groups I’m in to read and contribute there, I’ve looked up people by name who’ve popped into my mind. I feel much more in control of the incessant and mind-numbing “noise” I’ve found myself recently subjected to -and that I wrote about in my last Rambling Ronni.
I’m starting a blog series called “Rambling Ronni”. Here’s the first one. Yes, I ramble the whole time. It’s probably not an easy post to read. You don’t even have to read it and I’ll be ok. But you can read it if you enjoy these types of things, in which case, enjoy! 🙂
A little over a week ago, I started writing my very own script. Kind of excited about it, it’s something that only I could write, lol, and fits my personality and who I am exactly…and is something that just needs to be written. I’m like 10 pages into the first draft, but the majority of the whole thing is already structured and outlined in my head. I just have to do it.